To be the object of someone’s obsession is horrible

Even when I’m dead, I’ll swim through the Earth, like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones

Jeffrey McDaniel

It’s strange how the entertainment industry uses romance movies and dramas to depict obsession as oddly romantic, even in rom-com videos and dramas, an obsessed guy or girl is more often than not painted as being moderately attractive — a sweetheart who shows his love in awkward ways that just backfire on him. However, in the same industries, horror movies tend to be a bit more realistic about obsession, if sometimes exaggerated.

Believe me, obsession isn’t cute! It’s also not an endearing quality – it can be outright terrifying. The problem with a lot of people that are obsessed — or are involved with obsessed people — is that they don’t necessarily recognize obsession for what it really is. As a society, we have become complacent to obsession, I don’t know why or how we just have.

If you notice these signs about your partner or someone you know, it’s not love, it’s obsession! And, it’s something you need to avoid entirely:

He/She knows things about you that you never told him – normal people do not need to know every little detail of your life.

He’s/She’s tried to intimidate other guys/gals to keep them away from you – if he’s/she’s doing this you need to stay away from him. It’s clear he’s/she’s looking to control you, and that is never an indicator of love. Sometimes, guys/gals are overt about this. Other times, the only reason you’ll know is that the guys/gals he/she tried to “scare off” will approach you in private or will all suddenly bail.

You’ve caught him/her lingering around places you go, without any reason other than to see you – this is a sign of disorder in courtship and that tends to mean he’ll/she’ll act like a stalker.

He/She doesn’t seem to take no for an answer – if you’ve repeatedly told him/her that you’re not interested, but he/she doesn’t seem to get it, he/she could be a douche. If he/she keeps trying, despite months of disinterest, he/she might be obsessed.

If you tried leaving him/her, he/she tried to make it impossible for you to leave – this is obsession and abuse and you may want or need to get the police involved at this point.

People regularly call him/her “your stalker” – this might be said in jest but it’s no joking matter. The message they’re sending to you is that he’s/she’s really acting obsessive.

He/She seems to know you, but you don’t really know him/her – a guy/gal who’s genuinely in love with you will be someone who you know well, too. A guy/gal who’s obsessed with you will likely know a lot about you, but you may not know much about him/her at all. In fact, it’s more than likely that you only may know him/her as “that weird guy/gal”.

He/She pays a lot, and I do mean a LOT, of attention to you – if he’s/she’s sending you daily love notes, calling you all the time, and basically trying to monopolize your time, it may not just be infatuation.

You get the feeling that he’s/she’s in love with the idea of you rather than the real you – from personal experience, I can tell you that a man/woman who’s into a ‘dream guy/gal’ is more likely obsessed than actually in love.

You feel like you’re suffocating him/her – if you’re feeling trapped or smothered it’s time to get others involved.

He’s/She’s unnaturally jealous – if he/she gets explosive when he/she hears you talking to other guys/gals, it’s obsession. Jealousy is one thing, insane jealousy that creates anger or violence is not loved!

If you think about it, he’s/she’s actually quite delusional – most of the stuff he’s thinking doesn’t make sense and if it does, it does so in a warped, weird way. This is a sign he’s/she’s delusional and obsessive about you, rather than actually into you.



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